Picking up the check

When I was waiting tables in Oregon, there was a shabby lookin' dude eating breakfast all alone and there were two very well kept business-like women eating at a booth a few tables away. When I gave the women their check, one of the ladies asked me for the man's check as well. She explained that she wanted to pay for his food but wanted no recognition, so I was to wait till they left before telling the man about it.

When the women left and the man asked for his check, I broke the good news. What came next was totally unexpected.

The guy was at first confused. He couldn't wrap his mind around it. He wanted to know who they were and why they did such a thing. Then his confusion turned into anger, and he started going on and on about how someone shouldn't do something like that without an explanation or without giving him a chance to say “thank you”. Then he blurted out “What, do I look like a damn charity case or somethin’!? Do I look like I need my meal paid for by some woman?!” I tried to be sweet and told him while smiling that they meant no offense –just the opposite really- and he should look at it as a random act of kindness. This seemed to make him sad, and he sat there looking around like a lost puppy. When I came back around to his table to tell him it was ok and he could go now if he wanted he just mumbled "but why would someone do that?”

I remember thinking that the guy probably never got a gift in his life and couldn’t understand the concept. After that incident I couldn’t help wondering if the guy would have been better off if those ladies never paid for his meal. He seemed so afflicted by it.

Regardless of the person’s reaction, I think random acts of kindness are somehow more rewarding for the person who does the act rather than being the recipient. It no doubt has a ripple effect and it can’t really go wrong. I imagine that guy I waited on years ago has had many meals alone since, but has learned to appreciate what happened that day, rather than harbor anger for the unanswered questions that arose as a result.